Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Being Single And How To Be Good At It?

I'm not that good in writing, but I know something I believe I am good at, that is being SINGLE. If you are reading my previous blog posts or have watched The Achy, Breaky Hearts movie you might have an idea on what I am trying to say. Today, I can give you a different perspective in singlehood. Being single was never an easy thing, right? You will be surrounded with a lot of temptations, peer pressures, entertainment love fantasies and the like. The media always fed up our minds that it was not cool to be single through a lot of love teams, love shows, and love movies being offered in our eyes. We can also notice that as the generation goes by, love has been injected in a younger audience, telling that it’s okay to be in a relationship at the younger age.

Furthermore, going into social media, there were grade school students who practiced engagement proposals to their partners in their schools and their schoolmates were shouting and shaking with excitement because of the actual romance they've witnessed. It was really a different world now. After watching that video proposal of this grade school student, I feel like comparing myself to him. At that time, I only knew crushes and studies I didn’t even know what proposal and engagement was. And then I flashed back and asked myself, how would I know if at that age,

I’m still having fun playing the tumbang preso, taguan, luksong baka and luksong tinik. I still even haven't bored watching Dragon Ball Z, Slumdunk and Power Rangers. I didn’t know what the internet was and I enjoyed doing my research on libraries. And this generation, they have an easier access to the internet, they now have mobile phones and were fed up with our young teen love teams on TV. There’s KathNiel, JaDine, Aldub and a lot more. So, how would they be encouraged to stay single first and focus more on their studies or careers? Our media really play a vital role in this society.

Going back in singlehood issues, people also tend to give prejudices to us as not that good looking, too selective in the partners and what's even worse is, assuming that you’re in the third sex communities. You will be mistaken as gay or lesbian when you're not in a relationship. (Nasan ang hustisya?) This is excluding the pressures you get from your parents asking you when will you bring someone at home and introduce him or her as your partner. 

Honestly, it was really hard to contain and resist those questions, especially when it comes to your parents. It silently says that you are too old now and you need to make your own family today. You are perfectly ready now and we want to see our grandson before we die. How many times did you hear the forbidden question: "When will you get married?" Whenever you’re from short months or long year relationship that just ended, or in a long years of being single or a career man or woman that was technically ready to be in a relationship and yet there were no chances at all, here are some inspired things to do while you're single.

1. Start to build and practice your faith.

At whatever religion, congregation or religious groups you are it is the best time to build or rebuild your faith. You have now a lot of time to focus on God and ask for His directions towards your life. It is a best practice that before having a relationship with others, we need to build our relationship with God first. This will not only bring you peace during your singlehood season, but also help you in your journey of finding the right person you planned on being with for the rest of your life. Drawing near to God will draw you near to the right person you are praying for. Always remember, never ever compromise your faith to impress someone you like. This tactic can surely hurt you in the long run.

2. Get Real - Be who you are.

You are unique and you are different from others. Never pretend to be someone else just to please everybody. Be confident enough to show your own identity. Continue to change those bad attitudes you have and improve those good in you. Stop pleasing others for they will always say something bad to you. What's matters most is you're real and you're trying to be a changed man or changed woman now. Being in a new relationship will not fix your attitude problems. Only you can do it and you should be doing it for your own sake not just for others.

3. Focus your time in school, career or ministry.

It will only take a few years to experience singlehood so we need to be wise enough where to spend your time in those years. This season is the time where you have a lot for yourself. Make something out of it. Do something great in your life. Be an honor student, finish your degree, and take your masters and doctoral studies if you wanted. You can also work on your career promotion. Plan for your career growth and spend time to your ministry. Step out of your comfort zone and welcome the world of maturity by the horns. This is the perfect time to start building your future instead of simply dreaming about it.

4. Learn to be independent.

If you have given the chance to live independently, go grab it. That will be an opportunity for your personal growth. You will learn a lot on your own. It can also change your views in life. You will learn about how to spend your money wisely and appreciate life more than you did before. It will also teach you on how to negotiate to different kind of people including conflict management. I know it will be tough at first when you were raised in a family oriented culture. There will be no one to wake you up for breakfast, no one will remind you to do household chores, and no one will wash your clothes and clean your place. It will totally all by yourself. That would be hard at first, but eventually you’ll get to learn and get used to it. This will be your preparation to be a responsible partner in your next relationship.

5. Stop dating people you know aren’t right for you.

While you're single, you should be extra careful in dating or entertaining opposite sex. Man, don't court women if you do not have any plans in marrying her. Do not make them fall for you and play with their emotions. On the other hand, women shouldn't be doing the same. If he wasn't your type, then, gently say it to him. All you are going to do is to hurt them and eventually confuse your heart. Focus on attracting the right person for you. Do not ever compromise your standards in choosing your partner. Remember, someone out there is praying for you. You never know.   

PS: For other reference, here's Daniel Branch's 50 Things you can do when you are single.

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